Dealing with Nutcases That Play The Victim

Yesterday I was checking my social media accounts and ran across something that infuriated me.  I follow Christy Mack on Instagram, for obvious reasons, and on her most recent photo she said that she’d “be posting an update about her situation on Twitter” and that she was “alright.”

I wonder what that was about.  Sounds kind of ominous.

So I went on Twitter to see what she was talking about.  That’s when I found out that she had recently been attacked in her home by her ex-boyfriend.

This is infuriating because, personally, I’ve dealt with things like this in my own life.  I have a tendency to date girls with crazy ex-boyfriends.  It reminds me of that initial phase when you start dating someone and one of the first things you have to do is scare off the ex-boyfriend who keeps trying to weasel his way back in.  Or in some cases, force his way back in.  But before I get too much into that, here’s her statement about what happened.

“At about 2 a.m. Friday morning, Jon Koppenhaver arrived announced to my home in Las Vegas, NV. After he broke up with me in May, he moved out of my house and back to San Diego. When he arrived, he found myself and one other fully clothed and unarmed in the house. Without a single word spoken, he began beating my friend; once he was finished, he sent my friend away and turned his attention to me. He made me undress and shower in front of him then dragged me out and beat my face. I have no recollection of how many times i was hit. I just know the injuries that resulted from my beating. My injuries include 18 broken bones around my eyes, my nose is broken in 2 places. I am missing teeth and several more are broken. I am unable to chew, or see out of my left eye. My speech is slurred from my swelling and lack of teeth. I have a fractured rib and severely ruptured liver from a kick to my side. My leg is so badly injured, I have not been able to walk on my own. I also attained several lesions from a knife he got from my kitchen. He pushed the knife into me in some areas including my hand, ear and head. He also sawed much of my hair off with his dull knife.

After some time, the knife broke off of the handle and continued to threaten me with the blade. I believed I was going to die. He has beaten me many times before, but never this badly. He took my phone and cancelled all of my plans for the following week to make sure no one would worry about my whereabouts. He told me he was going to rape me, but was disappointed in himself when he couldn’t get hard. After another hit or two, he left me on the floor bleeding and shaking, holding my side from the pain of my rib. He left the room and went to the kitchen where I could hear him ruffling through my drawers. Assuming he was finding a sharper, more stable knife to end my life, I ran out the back door, shutting it behind me so the dogs did not run inside to tip him off.

I hopped the fence to the gold course behind my house and ran into a neighboring house. naked and afraid he would catch me, I kept running through the neighborhood running through the doors. Finally, one answered and I was brought to the hospital and treated for my injuries.

I would like to thank everyone for their support through this rough time. I am healing fast and well, and I appreciate a lot of the prayers and visits I have received over the past few days. After many months of fear and pressure to keep this man happy, although I fear for my life, I feel that I can no longer put myself in this situation. The cheating by him nearly everyday, and almost weekly abuse, is now more than I can stand. There is a $10k reward for the capture of Jonathan Koppenhaver at this time. Please report any information to your local police.”

The Koppenhaver guy she’s referring to is her ex-boyfriend that legally changed his name to War Machine.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you should probably never date someone named War Machine (sorry, Wade “War Machine” Black).

And, of course, after her statement and after everything went down War Machine goes online and posts some tweets about how he’s the victim in all this.  He says that people will eventually get the whole truth.  He says that he’s “heartbroken” about all this.

And this is the mentality that infuriates me.  You have these people in the world that find ways to justify their horrendous behavior.  They push their weight unto people; they force themselves on women; they can’t control their anger; they answer all their problems with violence.  And these are the people that are the quickest to claim that they’re the victim in everything.  They claim that they’re the ones who were given an unfair hand in life and all their irrational actions are justified as a result.  Everything they do has a justification, no matter how illogical.  They’re constantly the victim; they’re never at fault.

I was with a girl one time who had an ex kind of like this.  They’d broken up but he’d still come by her house, acting nice and sociable like he was cool with the new situation.  He’d come inside her house and when she wasn’t looking he’d unlock certain doors so he could get back in – whether she was home or not.  This is the same guy that would lock her in a bathroom cause he didn’t want her to go out at night.  Eventually, he came over to her house, forced his way in and started smacking her around.  She called me after it happened and I drove over as fast as I could.  The cops had been called and were on their way.  But before the cops got there, guess who showed up…no, not the ex – his father.  His father was a campus cop (I think) and had connections.  So he comes over and tries to smooth things over before the real cops showed up.  Because he knew his son was a nutcase.

But what’s really enraging is this psycho’s friends all thought he was a good guy. They all believed his side of the story.  And they always have their side of the story.  They always have a way to spin things.

This is always the case with these guys.

They don’t show what a piece of garbage they are to their friends.  It only comes out with the people they’re “in love with.”

Because these people they’re in love with validate how they think of themselves.  They’re after the trophy girlfriend to appease their competitive nature.  By winning the trophy it tells them that they’re “winners.”  But when the trophy girl has had enough of their insecurity and bullshit they feel that this sense of self-worth meant nothing.  They’re back to feeling like losers and they want to smash the next guy who wins her…maybe to get her back.  That’s how they think.

And, of course, in situations like this people will always choose sides.  Like I said before, his friends all thought he was a great guy because they never saw the things he did in private.

It reminds me of the opening statement in Vincent Bugliosi’s book “Reclaiming History.”  When giving a lecture on the JFK conspiracy theories he asked the crowd if they thought that in order to make a well informed opinion it was reasonable they had to hear both sides of the argument.  Everyone agreed.  Then he asked the crowd “who here has ever read about a JFK conspiracy, seen a movie about, seen a TV special about, or read a magazine article about it.”  Everyone raised their hands.  He then asked them, “who here has read the Warren Report.”  All the hands went down.

That’s what’s also infuriating.  People are so quick to reach a conclusion based solely on one side of the story.  In this case, I believe Christy Mack’s story.  I’ve heard both sides of their story (at least from what they put out online) and I side with Christy Mack.

But there are so many people that have come and gone out of my life that make their opinions on me and my friends based only on one side of the story.  No, I don’t personally know the people involved in this particular news cycle, but it does resonate with what’s going on in my life.

Personally, I refuse to be friends with people like this. I don’t concern myself with abusive and malignant people.
It just goes to show that you never truly know the people that your friends with.  You might want to consider that next time you hear a story like this.

About Jay Lamm

J. Lamm is the bassist, vocalist, song writer, and keyboardist for the mercurial metal band Cea Serin. While away from Cea Serin J. Lamm also performs live with Cirque Dreams as a touring musician. J. Lamm has also written and recorded music for movies, television and radio.
Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.